The painting above was the fifth and final version of the allegorical illustration project and the one I chose to hang. I went quite mad with it. I’m not sure if it was the subject matter working away at me insidiously or if it was just the act of doing this project amid various encircling distractions.

We had to hang our pictures around the MA studio last Wednesday, which I did and took the kids with me because it was half term and we had to stay out of the house while it is being demolished. The violence being inflicted against it – and particularly the porous, grey kitchen floor – is thrilling.

People were very welcoming to the children at Camberwell, which came as a surprise. It felt like we were in Spain or Italy and not here where people find children a disgrace and an abomination.

On Thursday there was a walk-around where everyone is meant to come into college and walk around the studio and say a bit about their work. But because the professor is away having an operation, a young, bearded person had been put in her place and he didn’t really seem to be too bothered about any of it and said, ‘have a look at the work and get drunk’. I heard him later pointing out to one of the other tutors all the students who had missed the brief and thought that it was a bit uncharitable of him and perhaps myopic not to have questioned why that might have been.

I left quite soon after, not really in the habit of downing warm six packs in starkly-lit art school studios. Before I went I asked this person whether I should take my picture home with me and he said not to because they were going to leave the work up for a few days so that everyone could take a look.

On Saturday morning I decided to go into college with Hubert and unhang my picture because I was concerned that it would either vanish or be taken down on Monday and probably dumped somewhere. In the studio I saw a heap of A1 papers left on a table, prematurely taken down, the sum of many hours of toil. Mine, previously pinned to the cork board, had also been removed and added to the heap and had been replaced by what had been judged to be a superior piece of work.

I don’t know. I’m not sure how I feel about this (I don’t feel much). I quite liked the bears.

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